Friday, December 15, 2006

How to Buy a Boat 3 - Day 511

When you finally find a surveyor that you think you can trust - pay him or her well. This person is your only defense against a disease that has you completely in your grips. You are at this exact moment suffering from a sailboat seizure (keel induced infarction). The signs that you are suffering from this insipid disease are: 1. You are talking to someone about spending all your money on something that MIGHT hold its value, will most likely lose value and will either end up on a reef or stuck in the mud. 2. You are standing next to a boat that you don't own and would like to own. 3. You have looked at or have entered a building with the word "broker" anywhere on it.

The surveyor (as soon as he or she is paid) will do something THAT YOU CANNOT DO AT THIS POINT. The surveyor will inspect your vessel and tell you what condition it is really in. The reason you need this is you are suffering from a sailboat seizure, the owner doesn't really know and wouldn't tell you anyway if he did, and the broker may know but he isn't telling the owner or especially you what he knows. (See previous post).

The surveyor does all this with a magical little device called a hammer. He will tap the hammer in a pattern that manages to touch the boat every two square inches. It is amazing to watch, and only someone who is suffering a keel induced infarction will be able to watch another person tap a 30 foot object all day every two square inches with a hammer. But to you at this point it will seem amazing and sound musical.
NEXT, the hard part - listening to the words coming out of the surveyors mouth.

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