Saturday, February 18, 2006

Winter Blues

January and feburary are the longest, most expensive months to live in Grand Rapids, MI. I find myself caught between two very large extremes. On one hand, can not wait to get out of here and just be done with bills, house payments, heating expenses ect. Just be debt free and take off with enough in your pocket to get to the next place. On continue on in the same fashion...not worry.

On the other hand, I kind of like having the next few years figured out and having the comfort and conveinences of knowing that I have Job...income. I have a home...i actually enjoy paying bills as long as i stay in black. Settling...that's what you call it. Settle down and have a nice place with some kids and grow old.

I wonder if we will ever get to that of ties that bind us to our present lives or of the comforts and luxuries that we cling to with some sort of false sense of comfort. Do I dare let go of these i worried that i might change...have to change...grow into a differant person? I fear it...I like how i am i think. I hate change...but change forces me to grow.

I choose to grow.